wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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