Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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