and next time when you feel me up, do it right
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
