Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
