I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
