a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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