the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
