she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
