im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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