Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
zippers are such a cool invention
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize