In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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