Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize