dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
