Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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