some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
