Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
