I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
