The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
