i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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