Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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