respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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