so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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