they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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