Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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