My hair reeks of homosexuality.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize