i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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