WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
