Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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