Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
