i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
