At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
