Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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