peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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