yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
