Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
