wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
