Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
