just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
