just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
