It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
