Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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