did you get engaged???
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
