Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
