The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
