I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize