...so i touched it.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
