Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just high enough for therapy.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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