Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
