You made me cry and you don't even care
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
