So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
