Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
