i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
