I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
