it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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