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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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