he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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