I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize