My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
