your parents love me but you hate me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
