How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
