i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
you never un-have a 4some
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize