Having a random hookup so left but love u
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
