I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
