some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize