Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
